ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
