# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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