Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
