Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
