Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
