So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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