First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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