all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
