This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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