cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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