I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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