But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
