I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
