well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
