shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
