Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My penis needs a shock collar
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
