Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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