Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
