The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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