"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
