my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's blow job season.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
