the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Drunk is not a location!
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