Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
