Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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