just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
