i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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