some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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