im having a threesome with these popsicles
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
