..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
