Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
