What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
