He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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