xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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