Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
