you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
