Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Watching her eat just hurts me
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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