I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
