There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
