And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish you could order shots online.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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