Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
