We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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