so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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