He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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