We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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