I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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