Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
