Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I could fuck to npr.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
