You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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