Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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