Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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