Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
